


they're gettin' bi

by ninasfireescape (sharkgriffin)



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Bisexuality, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 11:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19356388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkgriffin/pseuds/ninasfireescape
Summary: "It doesn't take an intellectual to get that they're all bisexual"The different experiences of Darryl, Maya, Rebecca, Greg, Heather, Valencia and Nathaniel as they all come out as bisexual.





	they're gettin' bi

**Author's Note:**

> So this happens to be the first fic I've posted in two years and also the first Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fic I've ever written. It is my current favourite TV show and I was just thinking how many of the characters in it struck me as being bisexual. I haven't written anything in for Paula or Josh, because I found it hard to think of coming out stories for them but I love any bi headcanons about them if anyone has any. Anyway, hope you all enjoy reading.

Darryl realizes he is bisexual at the age of forty one. It is the most wonderful feeling. When he finally calls himself bisexual, it is as if a heavy load has been lifted from his shoulders. When he looks at Josh, he feels like a young man again, like he did when he fell in love with Stacy.

He comes out to the office in what people later report to be the most Darryl way possible. He makes a big speech, he talks everyone through all the stereotypes of being bisexual. He researched them beforehand specially. No, he is not just gay, he cannot just go gay all the way. It isn’t a phase, he isn’t indecisive, he doesn’t need to pick a side, he isn’t a hoe. He has always been this way.

“Please make him stop,” Paula says, quite loudly.

“It doesn’t take an intellectual to get that I’m bisexual.” He giggles as he makes this proclamation. He spent all night coming up with that.

Nearly four years later, he sits beside April as she gives birth to their fourth child. A beautiful baby boy. He has never been more filled with love for his wife and his children.

People ask him what the point was of coming out as bisexual if he was just going to end up with a woman, start off in exactly the same position he was in before he came out. He isn’t in the same position because before he was unhappy, with Stacy and then not with Stacy. Now he is with April. They are two completely different women. He is not with Josh anymore but he doesn’t at all regret his relationship with Josh at all. He loved him at the time they were together and now he loves April.

He is bi till the day he dies.

 

* * *

 

Maya knows she is bisexual by the time she is fourteen. The world is changing and people are becoming more and more accepting. Maya never even heard about bisexuality as a child and now suddenly she discovers it as she enters the world of the internet and starts to read fanfiction. She reads about Harry and Draco, reads them falling in love again and again.

She starts to see people like her on television. She cries when Brittany and Santana kiss although she does wish they would actually let Brittany call herself bisexual. The same happens on most of the TV shows she watches; they never use the word, so she starts to use it for herself as often as possible. She has a right to be seen, to have her sexuality acknowledged.

Sometimes she feels like an imposter, like she is just pretending to be bisexual for attention. She finished college three years ago and she has still never been in a proper relationship with any gender. She wants to commit to people too much. After her night with Nicole and Julian, neither of them want to carry on dating. It was just a one time thing. She comes across as too clingy after her Tinder date with Joanne who says she would rather just be friends and then ghosts her. She is too forward with Father Brah although Paula later explains to her why she shouldn’t have been flirting with a priest in the first place.

It doesn’t matter, she decides one day while very sad about her failed dates. There is more to life than relationships. Everyone in my life now accepts my sexuality.

She opens up her fanfiction bookmarks and starts reading a fanfiction she hasn’t read in years about Brittany and Santana. It reminds her of being a teenager again.

It doesn’t matter how many people she has dated. She is still bisexual, hundo-p.

 

* * *

 

Rebecca prides herself on being progressive. It is yet another thing she and Audra have to boast to each other about.

“I joined the Gay Straight Alliance,” Audra tells her at Rosh Hashanah, just before they go back for their sophomore years at college.

“So, did I. And they asked me to hand out flyers for them.”

“Yeah, well I made friends with two gay guys.”

“I made friends with _three_. And I kissed a girl at a party.”

Every girl is a little bit attracted to girls. They are just so pretty. She doesn’t think she could ever date a girl. Too much of her self-worth is put into how men see her for that. But isn’t sexuality meant to be fluid?

Valencia is the most stunning girl she has ever seen, there is no denying it. Rebecca has never gone further with girls than kissing them, but if they were in a different scenario, if Valencia were not Josh’s girlfriend, if Rebecca were not so hung up on Josh in the first place, she would want to have sex with her. She isn’t bisexual though. She is too attracted to men in comparison to women. She has heard you can have a preference for one gender but her preference for men feels too strong to consider herself bisexual. She has been with so many men – obsessed over so many men – and never any women.

When questioned about it by Darryl’s ex-wife, she denies that she is bisexual. She is only a 1.8 on the Kinsey scale after all; more than a one because she is definitely attracted to women but less than two. If she were a two, she would have to call herself bi.

Rebecca goes home for Chanukah, nearly a year after she has started writing songs. She runs into Audra at synagogue as she always does. This time there is less hostility between them. Audra seems happier than ever before. She is smiling and not that cruel, taunting smile she always used to give Rebecca. They still need to compete with each other though.

“Where’s David?”

“We actually split up. Don’t worry, we’re still on great terms. We’re co-parenting. I just realized I’m a lesbian.”

Rebecca is very happy for her. Surprised but happy. She also sees it as a challenge. “Well, I’m bisexual.”

Of course, the only way Rebecca was going to come out was in a competition with Audra Levine.

 

* * *

 

Greg meets all his best friends in kindergarten. He is surprised by how strong the bonds are. They all go to the same middle school, then the same high school. They are there to support him when his parents get divorced, as he becomes sadder and sadder. Most people would hate to be around him, but they still love him.

Still, Greg wishes he could be like Josh. Josh is so popular and so happy and so comfortable with himself and so handsome. All the things Greg isn’t. Josh has all the girls interested in him. When they are twenty eight, a woman will show up from New York who Greg really likes but who is only interested in Josh when Josh already has a girlfriend.

Greg is already drinking heavily by the age of seventeen, taking from his dad’s liquor cabinet. His dad doesn’t notice. Sometimes his dad pours him drinks. At a house party when he is eighteen at Hector’s house (strangely with Hector’s mom still in the house), Greg drinks his usual amount and goes upstairs to a bedroom. There he meets Neal. He barely remembers the conversation they have or why Neal is even at the party because he has never seen him before, but their conversation ends with them kissing.

He tells White Josh that he thinks he might be bisexual when he is twenty. About half an hour later, he passes out on the couch.

White Josh asks him about it another time when he is sober.

“I don’t know, Josh. Women don’t want to date me. I don’t know how I can expect men to be into me too.”

“Come on. You’re a good looking guy.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. Anyone will be happy to have you. I’ll take you to a gay bar and by the end of the night, you’ll have the phone number of a dozen twinks.”

“I think I’ll pass.”

Greg isn’t necessarily closeted but no one really knows either, other than White Josh. He tells Heather when they are dating and she is fine with it because she is too, but he can’t bring himself to tell Rebecca. He loves her so much. What if it puts her off him?

Except he does tell her, two years later, right before their fateful trip to Raging Waters. It turns out leaving West Covina, getting clean, it made him feel more comfortable in his own skin. And she accepts him. He is surprised.

“Really? You’re okay with it? I don’t even know if I actually am. I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“Greg, everyone has gay thoughts now and then. It’s fine. Darryl, Valencia and Heather are all bi and I love all of them.”

He stands outside Home Base and looks up at the evening sky.

“Hey, West Covina. Thanks for letting me break free.”

 

* * *

 

Heather’s sexuality has always been a constant. Her parents are the most openminded people out there; they always let her know however she identified, they would be there for her. She realizes she is interested in boys and girls before she is even a teenager. It occurs to her while she is watching Lizzie McGuire. She shrugs it off like everything else in her life.

“She’s pretty. I guess I like pretty girls. Cool.”

She doesn’t even need to come out to her parents. They hear her say a girl is pretty and from then on, her mom points out other pretty girls to her on the street. She even offers to take her to a pride parade when she is fourteen years old.

Most people in middle school assume she is a lesbian because she wears so much flannel. A few people try to bully her about it. She is too good for the bullies. She completely ignores everything they say, occasionally coming back at them with a hilarious, bored insult, and they stop.

She gets a girlfriend in college (in her first year out of seven there) called Violet. This results in many jokes because both of them have names that mean purple flowers. She doesn’t mind kissing Violet in public because she likes her so much. People joke about her experimenting in college.

“Um, dude, I’m not experimenting. I’ve known I was bi since I was eleven so can you shut up?”

When she is twenty six, she gets a new next door neighbour, a woman who is completely crazy, but damn is she hot. Heather’s last girlfriend Emily broke up with her a few months ago and she needs a rebound. After hanging out with Rebecca a few times, she decides Rebecca clearly isn’t her rebound but soon enough she meets Greg.

In the end, she marries Hector. He knows about her sexuality from the start. Everyone does because she is always so open about it. She doesn’t even need to tell them she’s bisexual. She just casually mentions a few times how hot she finds girls to her new friends and they get the message. Over the years, she has fallen in love with many people of different genders and now here she is with a man she loves.

 

* * *

 

Valencia kisses a girl in her final year of middle school, when she is still Maria. It is the most terrifying thing she has ever done, at a sleepover with her good friend Marissa. She feels something inside her, something racing like never before, like she has finally woken up from a dream. She doesn’t tell her parents, or any of her friends and she and Marissa go to different high schools and stop talking.

In high school, she grooms herself into the perfect, beautiful girl. Men like her. What a compliment it is when her English teacher starts to show an interest in her. She has succeeded. Then too many men like her or rather they see her as an object and it becomes suffocating. She learns to smile at it, to ignore how uncomfortable it makes her feel.

An acquaintance of hers comes out as a lesbian. Valencia starts to think this girl has a crush on her too. She tells some of her other friends and they all act disgusted. They don’t want a lesbian being predatory and staring at them while they change after gym class. June doesn’t stare though. She just behaves kindly to Valencia, looks into her eyes and holds her hand. She makes Valencia’s heart flutter. She is almost envious of June, that she can be herself so uniquely, so open about her identity. In the end, Valencia gives in to her friends and they cut June from their friendship group. Her friends are right. They can’t have a lesbian getting crushes on all of them.

A few months later, she has no friends. Then she has Josh and he really makes her feel, feel treasured, feel adored. He doesn’t just like her for her body, he is so sweet with such a big heart that he actually loves her. She can almost open up to him. Almost. He makes her feel just like Marissa, just like June. She feels the same way about Joseph, in senior year when she and Josh start to drift apart.

No! She refuses to listen to her conscience. She likes boys. She is certain of this fact. And if she likes boys, how can she like girls?

She sees Marissa around town, usually at the mall. She has a different hair color every time and she hasn’t grown at all since they knew each other as kids. They stop to talk one time and Marissa tells her about her girlfriend.

“Are you still with Josh Chan?”

“Yeah.”

“You two have been together for what, ten years?”

“Twelve.”

“Are you married?”

“Not yet.” Valencia answers, the question stabbing her in the heart. “But soon, hopefully.”

Rebecca kisses her. She freaks out. She cries.

“Why does everyone want to have sex with me?!”

Girls don’t kiss other girls. Well, they can, for the attention of men. Men like seeing girls kiss. But they can’t kiss each other properly, the way Valencia kisses Josh. Yet that is what Rebecca does to her. What is wrong with this woman?

Being friends with other women is actually fantastic, she discovers about a year later, when she hangs out with Rebecca and Heather and Paula. Rebecca recommends her some reading by Roxane Gay and as she reads it, she sees so much of herself in it. She has a problem. With her body image, with forming connections with women, with always trying to impress men. Roxane Gay refers to herself as bisexual. Valencia has heard that word but never treated as a real thing. Yet here it is, burning on a page for her, like a light in a dark cave. She shuts her laptop.

Valencia is having business meetings with Beth more and more, but she senses there is something more to them.

“Beth,” she asks, one day when they are drinking rosé around at her house. They have already had a couple of glasses and Valencia feels a bit tipsy. “Are you gay?”

“Yep. Are you?”

Valencia panics. It feels like her life is flashing before her eyes, like she is seeing every girl she has ever found attractive. Every girl she has ever been attracted to. It hits her like a wave.

“I don’t know.”

Beth kisses her. She feels like she did when she first kissed Josh and also when Rebecca kissed her.

“Okay, so maybe I’m a little bit gay.”

 

* * *

 

Nathaniel was taught to hide anything that doesn’t make a man. All those years through his childhood and beyond as he holds back tears, holds off feelings, holds off affection for his parents, holds off concern when his mom vanishes for months.

He never even considered liking boys.

He maintains this figure throughout his entire life until he is sure it has become him. He is the toughest man, the most stoic, not one of those weak saps. In class at Stanford, he never backs down in a debate. He laughs at those weak-willed fools who become nervous, who surrender in the debates. One person even cries once. Crying! How silly.

In college, he has quite a few no-strings-attached relationships with girls. It gives him a reputation and he is happy with that. He cannot let any unnecessary feelings for each other get in the way while satisfying himself. Even when he meets a girl whom he really likes. After seeing her a few times, he completely cuts himself off from her.

“You’re an ass,” she tells him when they accidentally run into each other at the gym. It really hurts him to be called that by this girl he likes, but he just stands there, smiling at her, owning the label.

When he is twenty nine years old, Rebecca dumps him. Rebecca, the first person who made him realize how bad all he had learnt from his dad was, but he could hardly unlearn it. Rebecca, the first woman he ever openly expressed affection to.

In his misery which he finds himself silencing as he always has, he befriends White Josh. They can relate to each other, after all, White Josh is a fit, hot guy like him and he too has just been broken up with. So they spend a week training together.

White Josh is a very attractive man. While they are training, he tells Nathaniel about how he came out when he was twelve. He tells Nathaniel all about the history of the LGBT right movement and the rights gay people still do not have. Everything progressive in America was a recent development. As Nathaniel stares at him, smiling, he wonders; could he be…gay?

No, Rebecca is there, hanging over his mind the whole time, although he wishes he could just move on from her. All the phrases his father ever told him bounce around in his head. Even if he were gay, it would be stupid, because the community has been fighting for their rights for decades and now that things are fine in California, he only now wants to join them.

When they are finished crying at the gay bar, Nathaniel almost dances with White Josh. Almost. Then he catches sight of a girl he knows. Mona is the perfect woman to go for, to help him move on from Rebecca. No, anything he felt tonight was just a fluke, something he was feeling because he is at a gay bar. It means nothing. His best friend from when he was twelve meant nothing either.

However, he has a very similar encounter about a year later at Paula’s graduation party. He is still getting over Rebecca. How can one woman make him feel so much? He bonds with Josh Chan. When he met Josh Chan, it was so easy to mock him. He seemed like the quintessential dumb jock. Really, as they discover their shared use of sports analogies, he starts to get it. This Josh is very good-looking. Of course Nathaniel thinks he is; he looks a lot like White Josh. He has this blunt optimism that makes you feel safe. They laugh for hours as they repeat their favorite sports-related phrases.

Nathaniel is in his thirties and despite these few encounters, he still thinks he is straight. Things may change however when he starts working at the zoo after Rebecca says she needs time to discover herself, with Luis who is in charge of feeding the cheetahs.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! You can follow me on tumblr @ninasfireescape


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